Much Ado About A Superstitious People

We live in a society where myths surround almost everything.
You can't cross the outstretched legs of a pregnant woman without being called back to cross back. Reason? They don't want the unborn baby to resemble you. My sisters did this with me on several occasions and I derived pleasure from always crossing their legs.lol.
If you eat directly from the pot, they say it will rain on your wedding day.
A pregnant woman has to attach a safety pin to her clothes to ward off evil spirits.
An annoying one is being barred from whistling while the sun is shining. My grandmother would say its an invitation to snakes.
You wake up in the morning and hit your left toe against an object, they say it's a bad omen. Go back to bed.
If you eat a meal by the door, you can't get filled by the food.
If you get served the head of a fish and you choose to eat the eyes, then you become a dullard.
There are countless superstitions that we hear of in our society. Being of Yoruba descent, I often wonder if these superstitions are only told and believed in this part of the country.
How true are they? Did you ever hit your toe in the morning and had a bad day?
Do you really believe in these stories?
Personally, I think they are stories that were cooked up by parents to instill fear in the mind of children, and have been passed down generations.
Feel free to share your superstitious stories here.

I Did Not Quit

I have to apologise for my very long silence. It's been 5 months that I posted a story last on this blog. When I started, I was full of excitement about having a blog where I would write on contemporary issues and have lots of readers.
Well, after my last post, I had a short vacation and was busy having so much fun that I neglected the blog. Well, after the vacation, I got ill and was diagnosed with Septicemia. That set me back for quite some time, I must say.
Anyway, on several occasions, I picked up my phone/tablet to write for the blog but I just could not write. I realised I had writer's block. So I decided to give it time.
So here I am now! Back to this blog that I have missed dearly.
I hope you enjoy the pieces I will be uploading from time to time now.
Thank you!!!

Hehehehe

Lol. Happens all the time.
Let's sleep away all our sorrow and aches(head, heart etc), and wake up rejuvenated and ready to take on the world!
Sweetdreams folks!

Shall We Cross That Bridge?

"When we get to the bridge, we'll cross it"
Why do people say that phrase?
Why is it so hard to admit our likes and dislikes and lay them bare to others?
Not forgetting that there is no perfect person, but there are some issues that are simply non-negotiable for some people.
Marriages of these days, I dare say, fail because the partners refuse to address the inherent defects in their partners before going ahead to get married.
People tend to think they can change their partners after they marry them.
A lot of people see their partners exhibiting some behavior that they know they simply cannot live with and yet, they keep mum about it. Many do this because they do not want to lose the other person and so, they think to themselves, "let us get married first, then I will complain about it..."
Let me opine here, if you do not complain about it before you commit yourself with marriage, you may never be able to complain about it with effect.

You see that your girlfriend cannot cook and clean and yet, you do not encourage her to learn before committing with marriage. You marry her and start complaining that she doesn't cook your food and your house is always dirty. Then she tells you, "you saw the way I was before you married me!"
Or you know that your fiancé is fond of getting drunk and carrying other women all over the place. You fail to make a stance on it during your courtship and you think to yourself that he will change after marriage. That man may never change.
You boyfriend is fond of ripping you off for money and you take care of the basic needs of the house and you think it's going to stop after marriage?
Your man does not encourage you to pursue your dream and you think that he will encourage you after marriage?
You girlfriend does not want to see your family and you think she will fall in love with them after marriage?
Your boyfriend slaps you around and beats you up and you honestly believe he will stop after marriage? You have successfully worked your way into an abusive marriage!

The best way to avoid conflicts in marriages is to address these 'silent' issues before going ahead with marriage.
I'm not saying we cannot change our partners after marriage, but then how do we go about it?
It is a known fact that some people are so deceptive that they do no even reveal their true colors until after marriage.

Do you also say that you will cross the bridge when you get there? Have you gotten there yet? Have you been able to cross the bridge without hassles?

Is Pregnancy Enough?

Akin and his girlfriend Adetola have been dating for about 3 months.They are both quite comfortable and have good jobs. Adetola visited Akin earlier this week and informed him that she was six weeks pregnant. Akin accepted the news in a cool manner and Adetola has told him that having an abortion is out of it. Adetola's parents invited Akin and asked him what his plan for their daughter is. He tells them he accepts full responsibility for the pregnancy and the baby after it is born. Her parents have asked him to consult with his family and come up with a quick date for a wedding.
Akin is not ready to get married and this he tells Adetola. Adetola has gone to Akin's mother to help persuade Akin to marry her. The mother is threatening fire and brimstone for Akin to get married, since he's not denying the paternity of the unborn child.
Now Akin is saying he accepts the child, but is not ready to get married.
He insists that being pregnant is not enough reason to get married, more so as he intends to take care of the child and not abandon it.

Dear readers, do you think Akin is right in refusing to get married now?
A lot of ladies get pregnant to trap men into marriage these days, is that an applaudable thing?
Do you think a marriage contracted because of pregnancy is a strong one which will stand firm in the midst of adversities?
Would you rather be a single un-married parent than a divorced one?
Is pregnancy enough reason to get married?

Jungle Justice Is No Justice

Jungle justice has become gradually, a part of our societal ills.
Almost on a daily basis in Nigeria, someone is killed through jungle justice.
It is an extrajudicial killing that ordinarily, would have no place in civilized societies, but which we have welcomed as a normal way of punishing 'innocent' criminals.
The law stipulates that an accused person is deemed innocent until otherwise proven to be guilty in a competent court of law.
Also, it is an offence to take the life of another, without it being the order of a court of law.
People carry out jungle justice for several reasons. One if them is the non-challance and inadequacies of the police force. The force on several occasions, carries out shoddy investigations when apprehended criminals are handed over to them. This enables the criminals to get back into town without having been adequately prosecuted.
This has over time, enraged locals and they have lost faith in the police force. They now prefer to mete out punishments to apprehended criminals themselves before the police would let them go on flimsy grounds and they would come back to continue terrorizing the community.
This of course, has its disadvantages and they sure outweigh the advantages.
Many innocent people have been lynched by irate mobs over mere allegations of criminal activities. No one bothers to investigate the said crime or even hear the sides of the accused. To them, once accused, you are deemed guilty and the punishment is death.,
They stone some to death, beat others with clubs and sticks and even burn the rest!.
I have not ceased to wonder as to the kind of person that can simply put a tire tube around a fellow human's neck and douse the person with petrol before setting the person on fire.
Oh how hardened our hearts have become!
Jungle justice has now become a way of punishing enemies or competitors. Some people connive to accuse their enemies and competitors and have them killed for nothing.
I just think of how we have become so inhuman to our fellow humans and I just don't get it!!!.
People get killed for stealing little things now. You steal a cube of Maggie in the market and you can be sure to get lynched. You dare to take the goat of your neighbor and forget it, you are getting roasted alive.
Our society forgets easily. One day we are protesting loudly, and the next day we keep quiet and condone the horrible acts.
If you have forgotten, I have not!
I still remember vividly, the video of the Aluu 4 boys killed in Port-harcourt. Oh how tears flowed from my eyes from watching the video. I couldn't finish watching it, of course.
Should i talk about how a boy of twelve was also gruesomely lynched for being an alleged 'kidnapper'? Or should I talk about the man who stole a goat during Sallah and was tied to the goat. How about the guys stoned to death for snatching a cell phone? Or the recent one that happened in Ejigbo, Lagos where the women had pepper and sticks up their private parts after being accused of stealing a basket of peppers. I realized watching the video was a horrible mistake as it wrenched my heart out. My eyes felt like the raw pepper had been rubbed in them because of the hot tears that welled up in them.
What happened to having a voice of reason in the midst of chaos?
The people who watch and capture these horrible events are guilty of the crimes too because they simply watch and DO NOTHING!
We aid the jungle justice cause when we do nothing.
The police even aids jungle justice in many cases.
What happened to the force being responsible to the citizens and awake to its responsibilities, which are to protect the citizens and maintain law and order, amongst other things?
Our leaders sit and do nothing about it also, as they are also as guilty as those being called criminals. Their hustle is to amass enough wealth while in power.
Those voltrons too that parade themselves on social media as 'activists' will only hash tag the fight for days and after that, move on to the next loud fight.
The battle is ours to fight.
Let he who is without sin be the first to cast the stone.
Give accused people an opportunity to be duly tried before a competent court of law.
Stop Jungle Justice Today!

What Would You Do?

Imagine this scenario.

Your boyfriend of two years takes you out on a romantic lunch date and during lunch, he starts praising you as being the best thing that has happened to him. He says a lot of flattering things and ends it by saying no other woman on earth can get his attention, besides you.
He drops on a knee and brings out a ring. You become so excited and you cover your eyes, girls' style, expecting to hear "Will You Marry Me?" but you hear nothing. You open your eyes and see your boyfriend staring at a lady with voluptuous buttocks passing by, in awe.

What would you do?

*hmmm this one na war oh

Let's Talk About Long Distance Relationships

Beyond the first few months of giddy affection and the feeling of butterflies, few, if any, romantice relationships are easy. Sure, some look that way, but that's usually because two willing people are putting in all the work behind the scenes.
Long distance relationships are even more dfifficult to maintain, and they can fail for numerous reasons. Many long distance relationships certainly succeed, but they require careful navigation from the people involved to steer thorugh the obstacles brought on by geography.
Long distance relationships are not just inter-country, they are also inter-city.
Many couples have long distance relationship because of circumstances beyond their control. Others choose it because they feel that they function better apart and they don't want a partner that will be all up in their face.

Long distance relationships typically does not have the best track record, but the fact remains that some long distance relationships can and do last. Steps to take before venturing into a long distance relationship vary with the type of induviduals involved. Things like level of trust, priorities, goals, beliefs, maturity, etc come into play.

Communication is one of the fundamentals of any successful relationship. It is also the foundation of any successful long distance relationship. It is one of the most vital aspects of keeping a long distance relationship alive.

Trust is highly essential in any relationship. To make a long distance relationship work, a higher level of trust has to be attained by both parties. It tends to be difficult if a partner is insecure or has had trust issues, or even still has them.
You have to establish a sense of trust and at the same time, maintain your fidelity amd honesty in the relationship.

Respect ypur partner. Do not get jealous to the extent of keeping tabs on all his/her movement. No one likes to be monitored.

The couple has to have a set time for their reunion. Maybe forthnightly or monthly. Setting a time and a goal for our reuniom will provide hope for your relationship, and in turn, solidify the promises made before separating.

Being in a long distance relationship is not a natural situation, so it needs to be treated with a fresh, unique outlook.

Some people in long distance relationships see it as an oppotunity for them to be free to do anything they want to do without being questioned. 

Others in long distance relationships see themselves as 'single' the moment they separate from their partners. 

Does being physically apart drive people emotionally apart? 

Do things stay the way they used to be before the separation? 

How do you maintain your long distance relationship? 

Feel free to share. 

Getting Rid Of Dark Armpits/Underams

Rapper Eva Alordiah has a flawless skin and she shared  her secrets with the ladies on her 

blog

.. decided to share it here..Thank me later.She wrote..

I'm usually one to wear sleeveless shirts and spagetti or tank straps. For a long time, like a lot of young girls i know, i battled with darker underarms/armpits. Its like you go through puberty without exactly noticing how darker they have become until you are in your 20s and waiting for guys to toast you, forming fine geh.

  Next thing you know you have become conscious of raising your hands high in public for fear of showing off eye-sore underarms.

 For most of us, maybe all- dark underarms result from a number of factors.

 Now, let me just point out how i have been able to brighten my underarms over time.

They are not exactly perfect yet, but they are getting there. And when they do, i sure wont be too shy to show off a couple of pictures to inspire you. Now here's what i do -

1.  Stop Using shaving sticks:  unfortunately if what you want is brighter underarms, you are going to have to do away with using shaving sticks. What happens when we shave is the hairs only get scraped off the surface of skin, leaving little stubbles here and there that could fold right back into the pose causing bumps and re-darkening of skin.

What i do : I use tweezers instead. As wack and painful as that sounds, yes i sit through 30mins to pluck hairs one after the other. When im not tweezing, i wax using Sugar wax. This method is known as sugaring' and you can do it yourself af home.

 If you can't do this especially on your own, then you might want to try waxing at the spa once in a while. Tweezing/waxing is so much better because you get rid of hairs straight right off the roots which would even extend the time it would take for a regrowth.

Although hair removal creams are a great quick alternative to tweezing/waxing, some of these creams also include chemicals that could cause darkening of the skin. However my next steps would make it possible for you to still use hair removal creams.

2.  Exfoliate :  I can't possibly stress enough how important exfoliating is for the whole process of brightening your underarms. Exfoliating generally is one of my favorite things to do. Sometimes i just sit and scrub my whole body top to bottom.

When you exfoliate regularly you help your skin with cell turnover, making it easier to shed dead surface skin cells to reveal softer, newer skin over time.

What i do :  Sugar!! My fav little inexpensive thing. Sugar is one of the best things to use for exfoliating. For my underarms i use a good quantity of honey and sugar. I scrub in consistent circular motions 3minutes on both sides. Then i leave that on for 5-10minutes before washing off with warm water.

I exfoliate my underarms 3times every week. 

If you use hair removal creams instead of waxing, ensure to exfoliate lightly immediately after.

3. Lime, raw Potatoes and Aloe vera:  As much as 5times a week i apply a good quantity of lime juice or rub my underarms with a raw potato slice and let it rest for 20mins. Sometimes i use lime as a moisturiser on my underarms and leave it on overnight. On days when i am home the whole day  or for long hours i use lime on my underarms and let it sit till i am ready to go out.

Lime and potatoes are good natural bleaching agents and they would help brighten your underarms in a short time with consistent use!

 Choose one that is easily accesible or convinient for you or alternate between both.

NOTE:

These three tips above are also great for dark rough knees, hands and dark knuckles, feet and bikini/pubic areas. So you can do the exact same thing if you are trying to brighten the skin on your hands, feet and pubic regions.

4.  Opt for naturally made anti-perspirants and avoid spraying directly on your underarms. Hold sprays at least 6inches away from your underarms when you spray.

So there you have it ladies! I hope my routines help you achieve the results you need to to feel much more comfortable with your underarms. Consistence is key!

Do let us know what you have tried or trying by sharing in the comments section below.

Have fun, stay beautiful.

Please if you have your own tips which work kindly tell us..hugs

Written by Eva Allordia

culled.

Just Can't Deal

We all have those friends who never check up on us for anything. Christmas comes and goes, Sallah, even your birthday comes and not a word from them. We are not surprised by this as we already know them too well.
Then one day, your phone rings and it's them calling. You know instantly that something is amiss because they never call you, well unless they need something.
There are also those friends that the only time they call you is when there is a party that they want you to attend with them( as a party animal).
Others call you only when they need some academic answers(be happy that they see you as an 'efiko'.lol).
Some friends call you when they need directions to some places(as an 'Ajala' that you are).
Other friends call you when they need advice on relationship or man/woman matters (you have become dr phil).
Some even call you when they have problem picking the right outfits for events that they alone are attending(they'v e turned you to Joan Rivers).

There are so many friends that once you see their calls, you know what it is about.

Many of us fall into these category of friends.
I don't want to make this a religious piece but a lot of us relate with God like this.
 Are we not tired of just giving and giving in our friendships without our friends knowing that there should be more to friendship than what they make of it?

What do we do about these friends? Do we start ignoring them or we simply call them to order?

Do you have friends like these? How do you cope with them? Pls share your experiences so we can learn!